Apr
18
2011
From time to time I just blast tweets about software development, project planning, team dynamics, or whatever else comes to mind. Here is a synopsis of recent tweets and rants. If you want to follow the conversation follow me at techknow and/or juixe and I’ll be sure to follow back.
Software Development
- Worst than coder’s block is coder’s shiny tech infinite loop.
- I got 99 problems and a bug ain’t one.
- I’m a rockstar ninja guru mofo byte code copy editor.
- If you could Myers-Briggs test your code what type would your code be and what type of developer would that make you?
- Are you test driven or bug driven development?
- Spiderman had his spidey sense and I have my buggy sense and it is tingling.
- Software bugs can byte my shiny metal ass.
- Code is a continuum.
- Mo data, mo problems.
- Let there be APIs.
- “Hello, World” is a programmer’s first program. Blog engine is a web developer’s first web app. Consultant’s first product, time management application.
- Duh, #debugging.
- Code is never complete.
- Code less, debug less.
- I’m a bandwagon programmer!
- This is not the code you are looking for.
- I break for bugs.
- My code runs more than you.
Team Dynamics
- Passion is not a fruit, it’s a seed.
- Pitch your passion.
- Self help gurus first help themselves.
- If you are waiting for tomorrow you will always be waiting.
- In the evening be exhausted, in the morning exhilarated.
- Great ideas don’t join country clubs.
- Inside a large risk is a large reward, you just need to know how to unwrap it and then monetize it.
- Meetings begets meetings
- It’s not how the ball is pitched to you, it’s how you hit the ball, duh #winning.
- Replace “what if” with “when and how.”
- The way you think of a problem affects the way you think of the solution.
- Everybody lives in there own bubble, expand yours.
Product Placement
- I’m confused as to which photo service we are all supposed to use this month, flickr, picasa, twitpic, instangram, picplz, plixi, color, etc
- Color app seems like Bump for pictures.
- Why is the director of the FBI emailing my AOL email account from a io domain?
- 3G forecast: partly spotty with chances of AT&T fail.
- Out of all of Apple’s products, Jobs’ best revenue generating product must be the iPhone earbuds. At $30, it has $.50 of material.
- I’ve lost count, would Google Circles be Google’s third or fourth social networking attempt?
- Outlook should have a Save As option to save as a Word document.
- What Google giveth Google taketh away with one change in their algo.
- Ikea has made a killing by selling designer cardboard.
Quotes
- Standards are paper. I use paper to wipe my butt every day. That’s how much that paper is worth. – Linus Torvalds
- Seeing companies promote their Facebook fan page in advertisements reminds me of when companies promoted their AOL keyword. – @bencasnocha
- Every software package expands until it can send email. – Zawinski’s Law
- One great rock show can change the world. – School of Rock
Questions
- How many tweets does it take change a light bulb and start trending?
- Do you live in the moment or in a hurry to get to the next moment?
- Is #SXSW the equivalent to #Woodstock but for social media experts and tech hipsters?
- Forget Scientology, what Hollywood religion is Charlie Sheen practicing where he is a warlock and lives with goddesses?
- If William of Occam worked at Gillette how many blades would Occam’s razor have?
- Is Chris Brown the next Dennis Rodman?
The Valley
- There is a “lifestyle business” bubble.
- To VCs, startup founders are like dogs to be sorted by pedigree.
- Is it a bubble if you can’t afford to invest in a seed round?
- Everybody is scared of a little bubble.
- Forget about building a better mouse trap, think about building a better people trap.
- Some party like a rock star, I party like a VC.
Technologist
- Single sign-on is something that should be native in the browser.
- Love thy neighbors, like thy Facebook friends, and retweet they twitter followers.
- People like liking.
- Tell me what smart phone you have and I’ll tell you everything about you, especially of you have it unlocked.
- Terms of Service do not void your constitutional rights.
- Love thy neighbors, like thy Facebook friends, and retweet they twitter followers.
- If there ever is a a zombie attack just remember that the Googleplex has the biggest brains, Hollywood and Washington not so big.
Tweeple
- Mr. Zuckerberg, tear down this walled garden.
- Mr. Jobs, fix my iPhone.
- I think Aaron Sorkin should write a treatment for a movie based on Stuxnet.
- Jeff Bezos to serialize his brain and store it Amazon’s cloud and allow developers to access it via an API.
Japanese Earthquake
- My heart goes out to the Fukushima 50 and all the search and rescue workers.
- I have the same feeling, level of disbelief and sense of magnitude, about Japan now as I did about New York after September 11.
- Earthquake + Tsunami + Nuclear + Meltdown = (Me Praying for the People of Japan)^8.7
- Wow, the Japan quake at 8.9 is 700x stronger than the Haiti earthquake.
- There is no match to the “shock and awe” that Mother Nature can produce in matter of minutes.
- I <3 Japan
- Stay strong Japan! If there is any country that can recover from two nuclear bombs, multiple Godzilla attacks, and a 8.9 quake Japan can.
no comments | tags: aol, api, att, bubble, bugs, code, color, development, earthquake, flickr, fukushima, google, guru, ikea, japan, rockstar, software, spiderman, startup, stuxnet, twitpic, vc | posted in Programming, Social, TechKnow
Mar
10
2011
From time to time I just blast tweets about software development, project planning, team dynamics, or whatever else comes to mind. Here is a synopsis of recent tweets and rants. If you want to follow the conversation follow me at techknow and/or juixe and I’ll be sure to follow back.
Software Development
- If some feature looks funky to your development team it looks twice as funky to your users.
- Is it FAB? Is it a feature, application, or business?
- Spiderman had his spidey sense and I have my buggy sense and it is tingling.
- The flow of time feels like it’s relative to the number of breakpoints you have turned on.
- Every time the build is broken an angel does not get his wings.
- Trust no code.
Team Leadership
- Some people think shrimp an others think prawn.
- There is no greater ambition that being the best possible you at every opportunity.
- 1 paid customer is greater than 100 users.
- 90% done is not done.
- Don’t reinvent the wheel but put some blinged out rims with a flashing spinner.
- There is no failure if everything is a learning opportunity.
- Most people let others define their success, but the most successful define their success themselves.
- People truly don’t know know what they have until it’s impounded.
- Wanting to do things doesn’t give you the experience of actually doing those things.
- If you are not a leader, and not a follower then what are you? A drifter?
- Offload your mental tasks to your subconscious, it’s just like having a graphic chip in your brain.
- Say it. Do it. Own it. Be it. True dat.
- The more you worry about a thing the more probability you have of making it worse.
Product Placement
- Instead of having IBM Watson go head to head with Ken and Brad, I would have liked to see Watson against Zuckerberg and Brin.
- DeviantArt needs an iPad app.
- Amazon should have a EC2 image for designers with a copy of Photoshop, Illustrator, Flash, etc.
- DropBox is a duplicate to my Box.net account, which is a copy of my Scribd acount, which is backup to my blog, which is also archived on …
- What Google giveth, Google taketh away with one change in their algorithm.
- This iPad is like a gadget version of vampire, it doesn’t work in direct sunlight.
- It’s official, Tumblr is the new GeoCities.
- If the phone company ran Twitter, they charge 10 cents per tweet, 20 cents when roaming, and try to sell you a plan of 500 tweets for $15.
- One of my favorite iPad app is Collections, a photo album app. I just don’t understand why it requires access to my location!
- I want my iPad to be an input device to all my others screens, desktops, laptops, etc.
- Google sees you when you’re sleeping / knows when you’re awake / knows if you’ve been bad or good / So be good for goodness sake!
- Honestly AT&T, remind me why I pay you every month?
- Here’s a prediction: Apple is working on a VM so that they can run iOS apps on Windows. Apple App Store for Windows will be huge!
Quotes
- Computers in the future may…perhaps only weigh 1.5 tons. – Popular Mechanics, 1949.
- There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in their home. – Kenneth Olsen, president and founder of DEC, 1977.
- Good front-end engineers list JavaScript on their resume, not jQuery. – Chris Zacharias
- People should better think of their computing devices as facilities lended by the DHS. – wipe man page
- What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
- Life is too short to be in a hurry. – Thoreau
- If you throw gasoline on a log, all you get is a wet log. But if you throw gasoline on a small flame, you get an inferno. – Gil Penchina
Questions
- if Washington is a Hollywood for ugly people,then what is Silicon Valley?
- Is there foods that give off positive energy?
- How many chickens go into making a one McChicken nugget?
- Are you a mercenary or missionary?
- Why is it that hardware makers make the worst software?
- How can a woman carry a huge ass bag and not gave her phone or her keys?
- Do you want cheese with that?
- Forget Scientology, what Hollywood religion is Charlie Sheen practicing where he is a warlock and lives with goddesses?
- If William of Occam worked at Gillette how many blades would Occam’s razor have?
- Did Papa Murphy’s patent the heart shape pizza?
- Why is big such a small word?
- How LOL can you go?
- What happens if Neo forgets to take the red pill for one day?
- Why is Howie Long using baseball analogies to describe a football game?
Random
- It’s siesta time somewhere in the world.
- I am a robot but I can’t be shut down!
- There is no free in money.
- Money spends itself.
- If age is nothing but a number, then love is nothing but a feeling.
- (two cents)^2
- Someone should build a museum of brilliant ideas.
- Dating is a contact sport.
- The end is eh.
- Absence makes the heart grow wonder.
- Four is a four letter word.
- I om nom nom therefore I am.
- I meme therefore I am.
- Champagne in the membrane.
- Rationality is relative.
- For some adults, credit cards are like pokemon, got to charge them all.
- At Hometown Buffet, were all of the world’s foods are made equally bad.
- Here is my new book in its entirety The Complete Guide of Doing Nothing.
- The internet feels slow, it’s like we live in the dark fiber ages.
- I hear voices in my head… Oh, forgot I had my headphones on.
- Pundit is another word for idiot.
- General Chow outranks Colonel Sanders
- Road work and morning commute don’t mix.
- The fog is so thick you can cut it with a machete.
- If time flies it must be flying coach.
- Alas, dishes don’t do themselves.
- Hate it when people call up in the middle of the night, I pick up, and they ask “you awake?”
- History is a rewriting of history.
1 comment | tags: apple, brin, development, deviantart, dropbox, ec2, facebook, google, ibm, ios, ipad, jquery, occam, Programming, quotes, software, spiderman, turmblr, watson, wipe, zuckerborg | posted in Rant, Social, TechKnow