Apr 18 2011

Retweet March 2011

From time to time I just blast tweets about software development, project planning, team dynamics, or whatever else comes to mind. Here is a synopsis of recent tweets and rants. If you want to follow the conversation follow me at techknow and/or juixe and I’ll be sure to follow back.

Software Development

  • Worst than coder’s block is coder’s shiny tech infinite loop.
  • I got 99 problems and a bug ain’t one.
  • I’m a rockstar ninja guru mofo byte code copy editor.
  • If you could Myers-Briggs test your code what type would your code be and what type of developer would that make you?
  • Are you test driven or bug driven development?
  • Spiderman had his spidey sense and I have my buggy sense and it is tingling.
  • Software bugs can byte my shiny metal ass.
  • Code is a continuum.
  • Mo data, mo problems.
  • Let there be APIs.
  • “Hello, World” is a programmer’s first program. Blog engine is a web developer’s first web app. Consultant’s first product, time management application.
  • Duh, #debugging.
  • Code is never complete.
  • Code less, debug less.
  • I’m a bandwagon programmer!
  • This is not the code you are looking for.
  • I break for bugs.
  • My code runs more than you.

Team Dynamics

  • Passion is not a fruit, it’s a seed.
  • Pitch your passion.
  • Self help gurus first help themselves.
  • If you are waiting for tomorrow you will always be waiting.
  • In the evening be exhausted, in the morning exhilarated.
  • Great ideas don’t join country clubs.
  • Inside a large risk is a large reward, you just need to know how to unwrap it and then monetize it.
  • Meetings begets meetings
  • It’s not how the ball is pitched to you, it’s how you hit the ball, duh #winning.
  • Replace “what if” with “when and how.”
  • The way you think of a problem affects the way you think of the solution.
  • Everybody lives in there own bubble, expand yours.

Product Placement

  • I’m confused as to which photo service we are all supposed to use this month, flickr, picasa, twitpic, instangram, picplz, plixi, color, etc
  • Color app seems like Bump for pictures.
  • Why is the director of the FBI emailing my AOL email account from a io domain?
  • 3G forecast: partly spotty with chances of AT&T fail.
  • Out of all of Apple’s products, Jobs’ best revenue generating product must be the iPhone earbuds. At $30, it has $.50 of material.
  • I’ve lost count, would Google Circles be Google’s third or fourth social networking attempt?
  • Outlook should have a Save As option to save as a Word document.
  • What Google giveth Google taketh away with one change in their algo.
  • Ikea has made a killing by selling designer cardboard.

Quotes

  • Standards are paper. I use paper to wipe my butt every day. That’s how much that paper is worth. – Linus Torvalds
  • Seeing companies promote their Facebook fan page in advertisements reminds me of when companies promoted their AOL keyword. – @bencasnocha
  • Every software package expands until it can send email. – Zawinski’s Law
  • One great rock show can change the world. – School of Rock

Questions

  • How many tweets does it take change a light bulb and start trending?
  • Do you live in the moment or in a hurry to get to the next moment?
  • Is #SXSW the equivalent to #Woodstock but for social media experts and tech hipsters?
  • Forget Scientology, what Hollywood religion is Charlie Sheen practicing where he is a warlock and lives with goddesses?
  • If William of Occam worked at Gillette how many blades would Occam’s razor have?
  • Is Chris Brown the next Dennis Rodman?

The Valley

  • There is a “lifestyle business” bubble.
  • To VCs, startup founders are like dogs to be sorted by pedigree.
  • Is it a bubble if you can’t afford to invest in a seed round?
  • Everybody is scared of a little bubble.
  • Forget about building a better mouse trap, think about building a better people trap.
  • Some party like a rock star, I party like a VC.

Technologist

  • Single sign-on is something that should be native in the browser.
  • Love thy neighbors, like thy Facebook friends, and retweet they twitter followers.
  • People like liking.
  • Tell me what smart phone you have and I’ll tell you everything about you, especially of you have it unlocked.
  • Terms of Service do not void your constitutional rights.
  • Love thy neighbors, like thy Facebook friends, and retweet they twitter followers.
  • If there ever is a a zombie attack just remember that the Googleplex has the biggest brains, Hollywood and Washington not so big.

Tweeple

  • Mr. Zuckerberg, tear down this walled garden.
  • Mr. Jobs, fix my iPhone.
  • I think Aaron Sorkin should write a treatment for a movie based on Stuxnet.
  • Jeff Bezos to serialize his brain and store it Amazon’s cloud and allow developers to access it via an API.

Japanese Earthquake

  • My heart goes out to the Fukushima 50 and all the search and rescue workers.
  • I have the same feeling, level of disbelief and sense of magnitude, about Japan now as I did about New York after September 11.
  • Earthquake + Tsunami + Nuclear + Meltdown = (Me Praying for the People of Japan)^8.7
  • Wow, the Japan quake at 8.9 is 700x stronger than the Haiti earthquake.
  • There is no match to the “shock and awe” that Mother Nature can produce in matter of minutes.
  • I <3 Japan
  • Stay strong Japan! If there is any country that can recover from two nuclear bombs, multiple Godzilla attacks, and a 8.9 quake Japan can.

Mar 10 2011

Retweet February 2011

From time to time I just blast tweets about software development, project planning, team dynamics, or whatever else comes to mind. Here is a synopsis of recent tweets and rants. If you want to follow the conversation follow me at techknow and/or juixe and I’ll be sure to follow back.

Software Development

  • If some feature looks funky to your development team it looks twice as funky to your users.
  • Is it FAB? Is it a feature, application, or business?
  • Spiderman had his spidey sense and I have my buggy sense and it is tingling.
  • The flow of time feels like it’s relative to the number of breakpoints you have turned on.
  • Every time the build is broken an angel does not get his wings.
  • Trust no code.

Team Leadership

  • Some people think shrimp an others think prawn.
  • There is no greater ambition that being the best possible you at every opportunity.
  • 1 paid customer is greater than 100 users.
  • 90% done is not done.
  • Don’t reinvent the wheel but put some blinged out rims with a flashing spinner.
  • There is no failure if everything is a learning opportunity.
  • Most people let others define their success, but the most successful define their success themselves.
  • People truly don’t know know what they have until it’s impounded.
  • Wanting to do things doesn’t give you the experience of actually doing those things.
  • If you are not a leader, and not a follower then what are you? A drifter?
  • Offload your mental tasks to your subconscious, it’s just like having a graphic chip in your brain.
  • Say it. Do it. Own it. Be it. True dat.
  • The more you worry about a thing the more probability you have of making it worse.

Product Placement

  • Instead of having IBM Watson go head to head with Ken and Brad, I would have liked to see Watson against Zuckerberg and Brin.
  • DeviantArt needs an iPad app.
  • Amazon should have a EC2 image for designers with a copy of Photoshop, Illustrator, Flash, etc.
  • DropBox is a duplicate to my Box.net account, which is a copy of my Scribd acount, which is backup to my blog, which is also archived on …
  • What Google giveth, Google taketh away with one change in their algorithm.
  • This iPad is like a gadget version of vampire, it doesn’t work in direct sunlight.
  • It’s official, Tumblr is the new GeoCities.
  • If the phone company ran Twitter, they charge 10 cents per tweet, 20 cents when roaming, and try to sell you a plan of 500 tweets for $15.
  • One of my favorite iPad app is Collections, a photo album app. I just don’t understand why it requires access to my location!
  • I want my iPad to be an input device to all my others screens, desktops, laptops, etc.
  • Google sees you when you’re sleeping / knows when you’re awake / knows if you’ve been bad or good / So be good for goodness sake!
  • Honestly AT&T, remind me why I pay you every month?
  • Here’s a prediction: Apple is working on a VM so that they can run iOS apps on Windows. Apple App Store for Windows will be huge!

Quotes

  • Computers in the future may…perhaps only weigh 1.5 tons. – Popular Mechanics, 1949.
  • There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in their home. – Kenneth Olsen, president and founder of DEC, 1977.
  • Good front-end engineers list JavaScript on their resume, not jQuery. – Chris Zacharias
  • People should better think of their computing devices as facilities lended by the DHS. – wipe man page
  • What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • Life is too short to be in a hurry. – Thoreau
  • If you throw gasoline on a log, all you get is a wet log. But if you throw gasoline on a small flame, you get an inferno. – Gil Penchina

Questions

  • if Washington is a Hollywood for ugly people,then what is Silicon Valley?
  • Is there foods that give off positive energy?
  • How many chickens go into making a one McChicken nugget?
  • Are you a mercenary or missionary?
  • Why is it that hardware makers make the worst software?
  • How can a woman carry a huge ass bag and not gave her phone or her keys?
  • Do you want cheese with that?
  • Forget Scientology, what Hollywood religion is Charlie Sheen practicing where he is a warlock and lives with goddesses?
  • If William of Occam worked at Gillette how many blades would Occam’s razor have?
  • Did Papa Murphy’s patent the heart shape pizza?
  • Why is big such a small word?
  • How LOL can you go?
  • What happens if Neo forgets to take the red pill for one day?
  • Why is Howie Long using baseball analogies to describe a football game?

Random

  • It’s siesta time somewhere in the world.
  • I am a robot but I can’t be shut down!
  • There is no free in money.
  • Money spends itself.
  • If age is nothing but a number, then love is nothing but a feeling.
  • (two cents)^2
  • Someone should build a museum of brilliant ideas.
  • Dating is a contact sport.
  • The end is eh.
  • Absence makes the heart grow wonder.
  • Four is a four letter word.
  • I om nom nom therefore I am.
  • I meme therefore I am.
  • Champagne in the membrane.
  • Rationality is relative.
  • For some adults, credit cards are like pokemon, got to charge them all.
  • At Hometown Buffet, were all of the world’s foods are made equally bad.
  • Here is my new book in its entirety The Complete Guide of Doing Nothing.
  • The internet feels slow, it’s like we live in the dark fiber ages.
  • I hear voices in my head… Oh, forgot I had my headphones on.
  • Pundit is another word for idiot.
  • General Chow outranks Colonel Sanders
  • Road work and morning commute don’t mix.
  • The fog is so thick you can cut it with a machete.
  • If time flies it must be flying coach.
  • Alas, dishes don’t do themselves.
  • Hate it when people call up in the middle of the night, I pick up, and they ask “you awake?”
  • History is a rewriting of history.