Juixe Techknow

From time to time I just blast tweets about software development, project planning, team dynamics, or whatever else comes to mind. Here is a synopsis of recent tweets and rants. If you want to follow the conversation follow me at techknow and/or juixe and I’ll be sure to follow back.

Software Development

• If rhythm is a dancer, then algorithm is a break dancer.
• If you were a Java language reserve word what word would you be? I would be volatile!
• I get personally insulted when I am prompted to prove my humanness with a captcha. It makes me wanna bust a cap-tcha on some webdeveloper!!!
• Is there group think in the development community? Yes, but we build patterns around group think and call it Best Practices.

Team Leadership

• Change your perspective and you can change the world.
• If you don’t have an original idea you can remix existing ideas in original ways!
• Go hard, go home, go big. Pick two.
• If a web site’s end users are not paying customers, then the end users are the product that web site then sell to their advertisers.
• Why do people compensate their inability to communicate with the belief that others just know what they mean, you know what I mean?
• Hype is the food of lemmings.
• The plan was to have no plan, the backup plan was to leave the backup plan at home.
• Most people are natural born followers, it’s human nature.
• The toughest competition doesn’t always come from a competitor trying to build a clone of your product but from market shift in the industry

Product Placement

• In terms of hardware, mobile, and even operating systems Microsoft is anywhere between 3-5 years behind the leader.
• Startups age really fast in Internet time, by my calculation Digg is already and Old Media Company.
• Like what percent of Tumblr’s posts are reblogs and reposts?
• I want JJ Abrams to do a movie about do a remake of The Muppets in an alternate time line like he did for Star Trek.
• I want an iPhone that transforms into an iPad when I need a bigger screen.
• Google is an advertising company with great search technology. Facebook is a virtual share cropping company with great social technology.
• Who collects more personal data and knows more about a given user, Facebook or Google?
• Apple should add a few filters to their iPhone camera app.

Mini Meme Machine

• Scotty and Christopher Walken Mashup: Captain, I’m giving her all’s she got.  She needs more cowbell.
• You know who would be great in a reality television show? A prison gang! Imagine, Real World San Quentin.
• r-EPO, the performance-enhancing drug of champions!
• Monetize common sense because people don’t have it.
• I want to trademark the & char so that I could file a trademark infringement to all law firms with names of the form Dumb Dumber & Dumbest.
• The best part of a bagel is the creme cheese.
• My all time historical hero is Johannes Kepler.
• Your life comes with terms of service, batteries not included, void where prohibited.
• In Silicon Valley, everyone drinks the kool-aid but using bottled artisan water from a 10,000 year old glacier.
• In Silicon Valley, everyone is more interested in their piece of the pie than in the recipe of success.

Quote

• I didn’t mean for it to be released so quickly because I wanted to control peoples’ being offended by it. – Mark Zuckerberg
• I think people might be slightly offended but whatever, maybe there’s a way to control that. – Mark Zuckerberg
• Quitting while you are ahead is not the same thing as quitting. – American Gangster
• Living at home with your parents is a very powerful contraception. – David Willetts
• We should start a new social media web 2.0 holiday: Friend, Fan, and Follower Appreciation Day!!!

From time to time I just blast tweets about software development, project planning, team dynamics, or whatever else comes to mind. Here is a synopsis of recent tweets and rants. If you want to follow the conversation follow me at techknow and/or juixe and I’ll be sure to follow back.

Software Development

• Email is not the future of UI. I dislike services that use email for data entry or input device.
• Common source of errors, cut and paste!
• Functional specifications are often times as misinterpreted as the Bible.
• I’m a programmer by day, developer by night, and hacker in between.
• Some features are disguised as bugs.
• One man’s feature is another man’s bug.
• Void is my favorite return type.
• Code Commandment: No code shall PrintStackTrace
• Show me your implementation and I’ll tell you about yourself.
• The words “it does not compute” does not compute, they are not in my default dictionary.
• Get your hack on!
• When a developer says, “pretty much working” it does not mean production quality.
• I’m not sure that a software application larger than “Hello, World” can be bug free.
• If there is a giant red ‘Do Not Press’ or ‘Active Dooms Day Device’ button, someone will press it.
• Every design decision should be a conscious choice, not an accidental assumption.
• Will work for intellectual stimulation.
• If you are a User Generated Content site saying you will censor a topic will only inspire your users to find ways around that.
• What’s your default setting for the Ultimate Bitch Mode setting?

Team Dynamics

• Just like how there are no any stupid questions, there are no any stupid ideas.
• In order to get the most out of crowd sourcing you need to source your crowd.
• Look past people’s past.
• If you are going to shot for the stars you best have a rocket ship.
• When the stars align, shoot for them. And if you shooting for the stars you best bring the big guns!
• When shooting for the stars I bring an Klingon Bird of Prey!
• And on the 8th day God said, “Let there be a TPS report.”
• Life is too short to sell yourself short.
• Don’t think in problems. Dream in solutions.
• Never say maybe.
• The next big thing usually starts as a small idea.
• People will always push your buttons, you need to know how o deactivate those buttons.
• I don’t fear being wrong. I fear not being able to recognize when other people are wrong.
• You can’t delete emails once sent, but you can read them before you send them.
• For every great idea there are hundreds of ways to mess it up.
• Show me the monetization.

Product Placement

• Mark Zuckerborg is a geek super evil privacy villain.
• Boing Boing should just sell out to Rupert Murdoch.
• Panda Express’ logo says, “Gourmet Chinese Food.” Really, Gourmet? Chinese?
• American Apparel might file for bankruptcy, maybe China can buy it out and rename it to Chairman Mao Apparel.
• The company Manpower has a very male chauvinist sounding name.
• If only mother nature would have patented all her innovations, we would all be paying royalties to her.
• Why does it cost $30 for Apple’s iPhone earphones? They like $.50 worth of material and $.25 of labor!
• If you Google for love you will find about 1,930,000,000 results (0.23 seconds). At least one of those results is meant for you.
• Google Finance should have a “I’m Feeling Lucky” button.
• The cake is a lie. Do no evil is a lie.
• The next version of the iPhone should be called ivePhone after it’s designer Jony Ive.
• Upset that I’ve had to purchase yet another iPhone headset!!! At $30 a pop the white earphone are Apple’s razor blade business!

Resume Writing Tips

• Resume Writing Tip: Use a good phone line for a phone interview.
• Resume Writing Tip: At a minimum candidate should be able to figure out our URL by a) clicking the link on job description b) from my email.
• Resume Writing Tip: The minimum research a candidate needs to do is lookup the company website himself prior to interviewing.
• Resume Writing Tip: Ensure your cover letter or email is in one font, it shouldn’t look like you cut and pasted from somewhere else.
• Resume Writing Tip: I would leave out MS Access 2000 out of technical skills. It’s also not necessary to list HTML, DHTML, and HTML5.
• Resume Writing Tip: Proof read your resume and fix obvious typos, you can’t say you detailed oriented if you have basic spelling errors.

Quote

• I want to put a ding in the universe. – Steve Jobs
• The problem with Google is that Eric Schmidt is creepy. – Daring Fireball
• They [People] want Google to tell them what they should be doing next. – Eric Schmidt
• People aren’t ready for the technology revolution that’s going to happen to them. – Eric Schmidt

From time to time I just blast tweets about software development, project planning, team dynamics, or whatever else comes to mind. Here is a synopsis of recent tweets and rants. If you want to follow the conversation follow me at techknow and/or juixe and I’ll be sure to follow back.

Software Development

• If developers think that QA is going to find all their design problems, they are doing it wrong.
• Code wants to be dynamic.
• Unlike what it sounds like, Extreme Programming isn’t a spectator sport where you jump off a ramp with your favorite IDE.
• The web needs an open standard API for user badges and achievements.
• Social network sites should adopt a open standard API for user badges and achievements!
• The user interface made me do it!
• Show me the money, show me the data.
• Technology will date you, as in it will give away your age, like if your used a floppy vs a thumb drive vs neural memory implant..
• I’m sure Hallmark has a card for that, to show our appreciation to the QAs in our lives.
• The meek shall inherit the earth, the geek shall inherit an earth simulation on some social virtual game running on the cloud.
• Can you debug dreams?
• Men are digital, women are analog.
• Refactor yourself!
• Trust No Technology

Team Leadership

• Good things come to those that make them happen.
• Cut out the 20% from Pareto’s Principle from your process.
• Follow your dreams and you will be your own leader!
• Our attitude affects the outcome of our experiences and that is reflected in our perspective which influences our attitude.
• Fear is a virus of the mind!
• Some people are proud instead of productive.
• Sometimes we need to accept and move forward before we can understand.
• One persons Epic Fail is another’s FTW!
• If you don’t remember when you took a vacation last, you need a vacation!
• There are somethings that we are just not going to understand, but that we need to accept.
• If better is not easier and cheaper then it’s not.
• Just because something is better (function) doesn’t mean it’s better (form).
• You have to feed, exercise, and train your creativity before you can make it work for you.

Product Placement

• GIA: Google Intelligence Agency. FBI: FaceBook of Investigations.
• Is Facebook too big to fail or just big enough to get regulated?
• And then Steve Jobs said, “Let there be multi-touch.”
• Cost Plus World Market should really rename itself to 3rd World Market since they mostly sell trinkets from under developed world.
• CVS has the widest and weirdest selection, they sell everything from hard liquor to underwear. It’s basically my party supply store.
• Someone should invent foursquare for fictional places, I would like to check I the Star Wars Cantina.
• I wish iTunes could organize songs by mood in addition to genre and album.

Overheard

• OH: Awww, that gansta cute.
• OH: Travel is my drug of choice, I rather go on a real trip than a hallucinogenic trip.
• OH: I woke up so tired from that dream because I was running in it.
• OH: It’s very hard sometimes to think on your own.
• OH: when you are a parent and are dealing with your kids, you have to be the bigger person.
• OH: I’m sorry for whatever I did in your dream that made you upset, trust me that is not typical of my behavior in other people’s dreams.
• OH: It’s not that you did anything wrong, it’s that you didn’t do anything spectacular.

Quotes

• Bulls make money. Bears make money. Pigs get slaughtered. – Anonymous
• Everyone specializes in their own area of weakness. – Rothbard’s Law
• Software is getting slower more rapidly than hardware becomes faster. – Wirth’s Law
• It is not how much you make that counts, but how much money you keep. – Robert Kiyosaki
• All these computers and digital gadgets are no good. They just fill your head with numbers and that can’t be good for you. – Prince
• Hope. Deleted – Emotionless Wine Bucket #futurama
• There are no traffic jams along the extra mile. – Roger Staubach
• Control the music industry? Check. Control the publishing industry? Check. Control-alt-delete? Never. – @ceoSteveJobs
• I bet if they had Yelp in 1850, nobody would have taken the Oregon Trail. – @badbanana
• People don’t like to be sold, but they love to buy. – Jeffrey Gitomer
• Welcome, to the real world. – Morpheus
• I’m sorry, Dave. I’m afraid I can’t do that. – HAL
• Would you rather your kid be a drug dealer than a drug addict? – John Waters

From time to time I just blast tweets about software development, project planning, team dynamics, or whatever else comes to mind. Here is a synopsis of recent tweets and rants. If you want to follow the conversation follow me at techknow and/or juixe and I’ll be sure to follow back.

Software Development

• Craftsmanship is not a computer algorithm.
• If models can be super, what can programmers be? Leet?
• Just like you’re not supposed to go to a book by its cover don’t judge an application by its installer
• Some people call it cheating, I call it romantic A/B testing.
• Eric Schmidt’s tie is selected by a computer algorithm that tests over 80 different hues of blue based on his current location and weather.
• I’m not implemented yet.

Team Leadership

• If you don’t remember when you took a vacation last, you need a vacation!
• Money buys opportunities and experiences but not talent or happiness.
• Sometimes work/life balance feels like juggling eggs and frying pans on a tight rope as the audience throws carnival rings at your head.
• Perfection is a deception.
• Be scrappy, not crappy!
• Most people don’t search beyond the first page of the search engine results’ page anymore.
• Thoughts can’t be stolen, only forgotten!
• The truth is never complete.
• Some cover up mistake by making a bigger mistake.
• Facts are nether negative or positive but they are often interpreted as such.
• People can find offense in anything.

Product Placement

• If you want you iPhone 4 to get better reception just don’t touch it or use it.
• And then Steve Jobs said, “Let there be multi-touch.”
• Eating Cheetos and tweeting on an iPad/iPhone is not a good idea. Finger food and finger computing don’t mix.
• If Steve Jobs was president and the BP Oil Spill happened in his watch he would say, “Not that big of a deal. Steve Sent from my iPhone.”
• Steve Jobs should run NASA.
• If Steve Jobs always wears a black t-shirt, does he always wear tidy whities?
• I wish iTunes could organize songs by mood in addition to genre or album.
• Can’t wait until there is a Face Time Roulette service for the iPhone 4!
• AT&T and Apple are using the police as PR enforcers.
• Twitter feels like it was programmed by state programmers in Soviet Russia in the 70’s, it has constant disruptions, is not reliable, etc.
• Mr. Zuckerborg, tear down this walled garden.
• Bill Gates should come out of retirement and run Facebook.
• Scientists should invent self cleaning toilets like they have done for self cleaning oven.

Quote

• Not that big of a deal. Non issue. You are holding it wrong. – Steve Jobs
• Privacy means people know what they are signing up for in plain English. Some people want to share more data. Ask them. – Steve Jobs
• No one single answer is ever the answer to everything. – South Park
• Our Science is great. – South Park
• The devil is in the implementation. – Leo Laporte
• Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand – Kurt Vonnegut
• I hate BP, but I admire them too, in the same way I respect the work ethic of serial killers. – Scott Adams
• I have a theory that you should invest in the companies that you hate the most – Scott Adams

From time to time I just blast tweets about software development, project planning, team dynamics, or whatever else comes to mind. Here is a synopsis of recent tweets and rants. If you want to follow the conversation follow me at techknow and/or juixe and I’ll be sure to follow back.

Software Development

• Tests? We ain’t got no tests. We don’t need no tests! I don’t have to show you any stinkin’ tests!
• Test. Code. Debug. Refactor. Repeat.
• Party like a rock star, code like a _why.
• Code has a center of gravity.
• There are features that become products, products that become companies, and companies that become revolutions.
• To increase productivity when working with buggy software tools, don’t focus on how it should be done but the work around to get it done.
• Can you imagine only getting paid if there is no bugs in your ode?
• One developer’s bug is another user’s loss of faith in technology.
• Delivery dates for feature sets that there are no specs is a death wish list.
• Running software trumps unwritten specifications.
• I drop fools like I drop database tables, with one SQL statement.
• Memories are backward compatible.
• I dream in quantum bits.
• My dreams are hosted on the cloud.

Team Leadership

• 80% required in swimming is just to have your head above water, the rest is about moving forward.
• I know Google offers employees 20% time, that must be why 80% of their products feel like 80% done.
• Having your head in the clouds is better than your head in the sand! Hold up your head up high and you will see further.
• Make your own path, build your own bridge, be your own light.
• Make work be more wow!
• Future proof your thinking.
• Meeting don’t generate momentum.
• It only takes a single dash to turn a minus into a plus.
• Some set out to follow a leader, others follow his vision, and still others his path. Why not triangulate his geolocation based on all of these?
• A high IQ does not equate with success. I developed a new algo to measure likelihood of success, Kick-ass Quotient, or KQ instead of IQ!!!
• Sweep me off my feet, not under the rug.

Product Placement

• If Zuckerberg would not have created Facebook, he would have been just another picture collector on Craigslist.
• If Facebook would had been invented in the time of Hitler, Zuckerborg might had been a collaborator, aka Little Fuhrer, and would have geolocated Ann Frank
• Facebook is said to release geolocation check-in feature soon, default setting is to notify your parole officer or ex your current location.
• Why isn’t common sense the default at Facebook when it comes to users’ privacy rights.
• BP handling of the oil spill is what I called fail whale, I mean if you kill a whale it is an automatic #failwhale.
• Two guys walk into an Apple store to buy an iPad… This is not a joke, this is a tragedy, they walk empty handed because they are sold out
• Happy Quit Facebook Day!!!
• Flash, there is no app for that.
• Can you imagine a 20 inch iPad? This shall come to pass.
• The iPad is the iPC.
• At Home Depot, just came from Office Depot. Are these stores like related? Can’t wait for Gansta Depot!
• Disney wants to kill your creativity!
• People used to clock-in to work, now they check-in.
• Which is the most hated tech company, Apple, Google, Facebook, Abode???

Quote

• I love the smell of napalm in the morning! – Lt. Col. Bill Kilgore
• You never want a serious crisis to go to waste. – Rahm Emanuel
• Billionaires rule supreme. – P. Sainath
• We made the buttons on the screen look so good you’ll want to lick them. – Steve Jobs
• I wish developing great products was as easy as writing a check. If that was the case, Microsoft would have great products. – Steve Jobs
• Ahhh, what an awful dream. Ones and zeroes everywhere… and I thought I saw a two. – Bender
• A documented bug is not a bug; it is a feature. – James P. MacLennan
• The invisible hand of the market is actually a very visible bunch of grubby paws if you really look. – P. Sainath
• Languages shape the way we think, or don’t. – Erik Naggum
• Shawty is a eenie meenie mo lova – Sean Kingston
• If at first you don’t succeed – call an airstrike. – Banksy
• Lots and lots of blogs does not replace lots and lots of sales. – Larry Ellison
• Baby there is a shark in the water. – VV Brown
• The market is no longer driven by shareholders. The market is driven by formulas. – @mcuban

From time to time I just blast tweets about software development, project planning, team dynamics, or whatever else comes to mind. Here is a synopsis of recent tweets and rants. If you want to follow the conversation follow me at techknow and/or juixe and I’ll be sure to follow back.

Software Development

• Any software feature request should be broken down to 90% thinking and 10% coding.
• Multiple-touch is the greatest things since buttons.
• If a developer fools you once, shame on you, because they are usually fooling themselves when it comes to giving accurate estimates.
• Don’t take developers estimate at face value.
• Recommend The Rubyist for the Developers Directory on Tumblr: http://www.tumblr.com/directory/recommend/developers/rubyist
• Many non-programming software users don’t understand the meaning of concatenated or null so don’t use these in labels in your UI.
• I like to provide solutions that don’t involve complaining.
• If Heraclitus is right and you never step in the same river twice, then you never write the same program twice.
• Bugs keep my code humble.
• A bug’s ingenuity is proportional to a developer’s ego and self importance.
• Bugs like to in build nests out of spaghetti code in untested corner cases.
• Working running code is just one corner case.
• I use dead laptop drives as coasters.
• My emotions are user generated.
• I om nom nom nom on memes.
• The interweb is my inspiration.
• I CAN HAZ DREAMS OF INTERWEB MEMES

Team Leadership

• When life gives you lemons, you may make lemonade. When life gives me lemons, I make myself some limoncello.
• New motto/slogan: Don’t be a robot, unless you are 20 feet tall and can transform into a fighter jet.
• Dream big or wake up.
• The Law of Big Consequences: Large consequences are often the effect of making considerable decisions in a big rush.
• Laughter is the duct tape equivalent of emotions, it can be used to patch up bad feelings or misunderstandings.
• Manual, Error Prone, Time Consuming. Pick none!
• When people dig their own hole they can’t get out of it by digging deeper.
• Fight the power, and fight the hype.
• A key skill in life is to know when to end a conversation.
• Nothing is how you thought of it originally, it is up to you to make it better.
• If you have time to lean, you have time to clean.

Product Placement

• Amazon knows what books you bought for the Kindle, how often and for how long you read, can add and remove books, and read your bookmarks, notes, and highlights…
• FaceBook, Inc = F.B.I.
• Apple wants to design multiple-touch devices, Google wants to crawl content, Facebook wants to own your social graph and associated data.
• Facebook is really dumbing down the web with the like button.
• Facebook’s Open Graph is not really open. If you don’t own the platform, can look through the source, can own the data it is not open!
• Did someone just unlocked the Foursquare Sellout Badge at Yahoo HQ!
• I’ve had enough Lifetime movies for one lifetime.
• The world according Ronald McDonald is made out of corn meal.
• The McChicken nugget is the worst thing since sliced bread.
• Peeps are the most disgusting artificial food product.

Qoute

• One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain. – Bob Marley
• I don’t like negotiating with people I can’t beat up. – Goldberg
• We live in an amazing world and it’s wasted on the crappiest generation. – Louis C.K.
• Beware of artists they mix with all classes of society and are therefore most dangerous. – Queen Victoria
• He eyes are the nipples of the face. -The House Bunny