Apr 23 2010

PHP Creator is a Terrible Coder

Rasmus Lerdorf, the Danish creator of the PHP programming language, recently tweeted the following bit of hubris.

For all the folks getting excited about my quotes. Here is another – Yes, I am a terrible coder, but I am probably still better than you :)

That sounds like something that DHH would say, who also happens to be a Danish programmer. In one hand he did invent a new programming language, in the other it was PHP. In one hand he made web programming accessible to thousands of developer, in the other hand the code produced by most of these developers is unreadable and unmanageable.

Of course, a great many folks took the troll bait and commented on the validity of the tweet. My favorite comment was from
Entropy on Reddit.

Kenny G plays the saxophone better than I do, but that provides little solace for his countless victims.

I was not able to find additional background to this tweet, but I can only imagine he tweeted it in good fun, and not in my milkshake brings all the developers to the yard, and their like, it’s better than yours.

Apr 5 2010

Apple iPad Top Resources

The iPad has garnered the most press I have seen for a electronic device since, well, the iPhone. Just after a day after it’s release, it has already been jail broken. Here is a list of my favorite iPad reviews, resources, articles with tips and tricks, etc. I hope you are reading this in your new iPad!!!

Aug 22 2009

Songs in Code

Programming related hashtags don’t make the top trend on Twitter. But last Friday night, when most people are out except geeks, the hashtag #songsincode made it to the top trends on Twitter. As of today, here some of my favorite songs in code.

Songs in Code

  • @juixe: if(self.getLikes().contains(BIG_BUTTS) && !self.canLie()) {other.getBrothers().deny(false); you.getFace().add(ROUND_THING); you.getSprung()} #songsincode
  • @techknow: Rhythm instanceof Dancer == true #songsincode
  • @techknow: 2.times do we_will end; rock_you; face :has => ‘mud’; disgrace you, big #songsincode
  • @anteaya: if “its” === 1999 then party; end #songsincode
  • @cessor: for(int i = 99; i >= 0; i–) { Bottle b = _bottlesOfBeerOnTheWall[i]; b.Pass(); } #songsincode #CSharp
  • @seeflanigan: Love.is_a?(Battlefield) => true #songsincode
  • @stewdio_org: return “that’s” + ( name.indexOf([ “girl”, “stacey”, “her”, “jane” ]) > 0 ? “” : ” not” ) + ” my name” #songsincode #tingtings
  • @malvim: try { me.go(“rehab”); } catch { return “No, no, no!”; } #songsincode
  • @bricriu: if (self.go() { return new Trouble() } else if (self.stay()) { return new Trouble().intValue() * 2} #songsincode
  • @projektdotnet: int main(void){get_your($body_beat); let_your(blood_flow); return 0;} #songsincode
  • @NescioPhone: try { margaritaville.Resolve(“Lost”); } catch (Exception woman) { Trace(this.Fault); } #songsincode
  • @brotzeitbrettl: for(int i=0; i==0; i=1) { we.celebrate(); oh_yeah.allright(); dancing.stop = false; } #songsincode
  • @chiihime: foreach (night in myDreams) { me.see(you); me.feel(you); }; #songsincode
  • @joestump: if (IN_YOUR_ARMS && TONIGHT) { die(); } #songsincode
  • @brentgarner: if($theEnd){$loveYouTake = $loveYouMake;} // #songsincode #beatles
  • @stewartyu: while(money++) { problems++; } #songsincode
  • @dustinfineout: if (time.equals(‘hammer’)) { this.touchable = false; } #songsincode
  • @kevinwo: hold($me, $close++, $tiny_dancer); #songsincode
  • @llemirtrauts: for(var oclock = 1; oclock <= 12; oclock++){rock();} #songsincode
  • @abachman: you.dance if you.want_to?; #songsincode
  • @dbrady: i == sky << eye; i.looking!(@you); i.authorized?(your.mind, :read) == true #songsincode
  • @zarkon: if (you.loves(somebody)) { them.set(free); } #songsincode
  • @llemirtrauts: @paynen [money, show, getReady, goGoGo].forEach(function(value, key) {key + for(value);});!stepOnMy(blueSuedeShoes); #songsincode
  • @jonrimmer: x = ‘Umbrella’; you.Permissions[‘StandUnder’] += self.GetPossession(x + x.Right(4) + x.Right(4) + ‘eh’ * 3) #songsincode
  • @jverdi: while(true) {if(!this.touch()) {echo “can’t touch this”;}}#songsincode
  • @tiemez: while(false){ self.giveYouUp(); self.letYouDown(); self.runAround(); self.desertYou(); } #songsincode
  • @mikemangi: function iWant(){ $rocknroll=’allnite’; $party=’everyday’; keepon($rockn); } #songsincode
  • @librarythingtim: if(!woman) { cry = false; } #songsincode
  • @motherwell: if(you.think(sexy) == true && you.want(myBody) == true ) { you.tellMe(so) } #songsincode
  • @TjoosDude: me.see(you.watch(me.watch(you))); #songsincode
  • @cameronhunter: (function( you ){ return you.getLove().matches(/bad medicine/) })() #songsincode
  • @tower10: @paynen function () { walk(this).way(); talk(this).way(); } #songsincode
  • @eviltabbycat: public interface egyptian {public void walk();} #songsincode
  • @frenchs: int *chicks = (int*)malloc(sizeof (int)); int *money = null; free(chicks); #songsincode #rusty_c
  • @joestump: if (HUMPTY_DANCE) { define(‘TRANCE’, true); do_the_hump(); } #songsincode
  • @paynen: (girls == boys).like(girls.do(boys.like(girls.do(girls.like(boys)))) #songsincode
  • @beenewilliamr: dc -e'[dsm1laxsr]sj[2/ljxlcxq]st[3*1+ljx lcx]sy[d1=qd2%0=td2%0!=y]sc[100P]sw[0P] se[q]sq[d1700!>qdlm%d0=w d0!=esr1+lax]sa28lcx’ #songsincode
  • @skatterbean: if not self.check(): self.wreck() #songsincode (thanks do @dreid for the bug fix)
  • @frenchs: if(!roxanne) { self::turnOnLight(self::RED); } #songsincode
  • @eegiffin: class HotelCalifornia { void checkOut () { canLeave=false; } } #songsincode
  • @ald: try { Britney.Sing(); } catch (Exception ex) { throw new Exception(“Oops”); } #songsincode
  • @herlifeinpixels: while you.find(me, indaclub): me.sipping(bub); if isinstance(you, sexylilthug): you.need = me.got; #songsincode
  • @dhinojosa: assertTrue(heat.isOn()) #songsincode #glennfrye
  • @llemirtrauts: [].push(“ah”).push(“good”).push(“real good”);#songsincode
  • @ara_p: roof.set(“fire”, true); #songsincode
  • @proxymoron: if(wantTo) { we = dance(); } friends = !dance(); if(friends != dance()) { we.remove(friends); } #songsincode

For some unexplainable reason, I found a lot of developers tweeted/coded the song Dude (Looks Like a Lady) by Aerosmith.

Dude (Looks Like a Lady)

  • @davglass: var Dude = new Lady();#songsincode
  • @jrconlin: @davglass Shouldn’t that be: (Lady) new Dude; ? #songsincode
  • @Slow3000: dude.setLook(Looks.LADY); #songsincode
  • @krigsi: LooksLike(“Dude”,”Lady”) #songsincode
  • @ptone: import dude as lady #songsincode
  • @clindh: looks == (lady)dude; #songsincode

I found these three variants of Jay-Z’s song 99 Problems interesting.

99 Problems

  • @brotzeitbrettl: echo count($this->problems) == 99; foreach($this->problems as $p) { echo ($p instanceof Bitch) == false); } #songsincode
  • @peterc: Okay, just one more: # problems.size == 99 && !problems.include?(“bitch”) #songsincode
  • @tome: en(problems) == 99 and “bitch” not in problems

Some songs, in code, by Michael Jackson.


  • @techknow: dianna.setDirty(true) #songsincode
  • @pud: If (BillieJean.is != my.lover) { BillieJean.justa = ‘girl’; i = 1; } #songsincode
  • @RobertFischer: !my.isLover(billyJean) && billyJean.claims(my.theOne) && !my.isSon(theKid) #songsincode
  • @krigsi: if($Annie = ‘OK’) { SmoothCriminal(Hit) } #songsincode

Aug 19 2009

Technology and Politics

Politicians say the darndest things, especially when it comes to technology. Here are some technology related quotes made famous my our elected officials and civil servants.

During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet. I took the initiative in moving forward a whole range of initiatives that have proven to be important to our country’s economic growth and environmental protection, improvements in our educational system.
– Al Gore/Vice President of the United States

Ten movies streaming across that, that Internet, and what happens to your own personal Internet? I just the other day got…an Internet was sent by my staff at 10 o’clock in the morning on Friday. I got it yesterday [Tuesday]. Why? Because it got tangled up with all these things going on the Internet commercially.
– Ted Stevens/Alaska Senator

They want to deliver vast amounts of information over the Internet. And again, the Internet is not something that you just dump something on. It’s not a big truck. It’s a series of tubes. And if you don’t understand, those tubes can be filled and if they are filled, when you put your message in, it gets in line and it’s going to be delayed by anyone that puts into that tube enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material.
– Ted Stevens/Alaska Senator

Internet != Big Truck

Internet != Big Truck

As broadband deployment and more importantly if you look at the megabyte per second how much information can we get though the pipeline is going to be so important as new and new software technologies are introduced what you are going to see is huge change from how applications are architected with skip logic to video and much more human ways of interacting with these applications rather than binary or COBOL ways to interacting with those applications.
– Vivek Kundra/United States Chief Information Officer