Jul 9 2010

Retweet June 2010

From time to time I just blast tweets about software development, project planning, team dynamics, or whatever else comes to mind. Here is a synopsis of recent tweets and rants. If you want to follow the conversation follow me at techknow and/or juixe and I’ll be sure to follow back.

Software Development

  • Craftsmanship is not a computer algorithm.
  • If models can be super, what can programmers be? Leet?
  • Just like you’re not supposed to go to a book by its cover don’t judge an application by its installer
  • Some people call it cheating, I call it romantic A/B testing.
  • Eric Schmidt’s tie is selected by a computer algorithm that tests over 80 different hues of blue based on his current location and weather.
  • I’m not implemented yet.

Team Leadership

  • If you don’t remember when you took a vacation last, you need a vacation!
  • Money buys opportunities and experiences but not talent or happiness.
  • Sometimes work/life balance feels like juggling eggs and frying pans on a tight rope as the audience throws carnival rings at your head.
  • Perfection is a deception.
  • Be scrappy, not crappy!
  • Most people don’t search beyond the first page of the search engine results’ page anymore.
  • Thoughts can’t be stolen, only forgotten!
  • The truth is never complete.
  • Some cover up mistake by making a bigger mistake.
  • Facts are nether negative or positive but they are often interpreted as such.
  • People can find offense in anything.

Product Placement

  • If you want you iPhone 4 to get better reception just don’t touch it or use it.
  • And then Steve Jobs said, “Let there be multi-touch.”
  • Eating Cheetos and tweeting on an iPad/iPhone is not a good idea. Finger food and finger computing don’t mix.
  • If Steve Jobs was president and the BP Oil Spill happened in his watch he would say, “Not that big of a deal. Steve Sent from my iPhone.”
  • Steve Jobs should run NASA.
  • If Steve Jobs always wears a black t-shirt, does he always wear tidy whities?
  • I wish iTunes could organize songs by mood in addition to genre or album.
  • Can’t wait until there is a Face Time Roulette service for the iPhone 4!
  • AT&T and Apple are using the police as PR enforcers.
  • Twitter feels like it was programmed by state programmers in Soviet Russia in the 70’s, it has constant disruptions, is not reliable, etc.
  • Mr. Zuckerborg, tear down this walled garden.
  • Bill Gates should come out of retirement and run Facebook.
  • Scientists should invent self cleaning toilets like they have done for self cleaning oven.

Quote

  • Not that big of a deal. Non issue. You are holding it wrong. – Steve Jobs
  • Privacy means people know what they are signing up for in plain English. Some people want to share more data. Ask them. – Steve Jobs
  • No one single answer is ever the answer to everything. – South Park
  • Our Science is great. – South Park
  • The devil is in the implementation. – Leo Laporte
  • Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand – Kurt Vonnegut
  • I hate BP, but I admire them too, in the same way I respect the work ethic of serial killers. – Scott Adams
  • I have a theory that you should invest in the companies that you hate the most – Scott Adams

Jul 5 2010

Retweet May 2010

From time to time I just blast tweets about software development, project planning, team dynamics, or whatever else comes to mind. Here is a synopsis of recent tweets and rants. If you want to follow the conversation follow me at techknow and/or juixe and I’ll be sure to follow back.

Software Development

  • Tests? We ain’t got no tests. We don’t need no tests! I don’t have to show you any stinkin’ tests!
  • Test. Code. Debug. Refactor. Repeat.
  • Party like a rock star, code like a _why.
  • Code has a center of gravity.
  • There are features that become products, products that become companies, and companies that become revolutions.
  • To increase productivity when working with buggy software tools, don’t focus on how it should be done but the work around to get it done.
  • Can you imagine only getting paid if there is no bugs in your ode?
  • One developer’s bug is another user’s loss of faith in technology.
  • Delivery dates for feature sets that there are no specs is a death wish list.
  • Running software trumps unwritten specifications.
  • I drop fools like I drop database tables, with one SQL statement.
  • Memories are backward compatible.
  • I dream in quantum bits.
  • My dreams are hosted on the cloud.

Team Leadership

  • 80% required in swimming is just to have your head above water, the rest is about moving forward.
  • I know Google offers employees 20% time, that must be why 80% of their products feel like 80% done.
  • Having your head in the clouds is better than your head in the sand! Hold up your head up high and you will see further.
  • Make your own path, build your own bridge, be your own light.
  • Make work be more wow!
  • Future proof your thinking.
  • Meeting don’t generate momentum.
  • It only takes a single dash to turn a minus into a plus.
  • Some set out to follow a leader, others follow his vision, and still others his path. Why not triangulate his geolocation based on all of these?
  • A high IQ does not equate with success. I developed a new algo to measure likelihood of success, Kick-ass Quotient, or KQ instead of IQ!!!
  • Sweep me off my feet, not under the rug.

Product Placement

  • If Zuckerberg would not have created Facebook, he would have been just another picture collector on Craigslist.
  • If Facebook would had been invented in the time of Hitler, Zuckerborg might had been a collaborator, aka Little Fuhrer, and would have geolocated Ann Frank
  • Facebook is said to release geolocation check-in feature soon, default setting is to notify your parole officer or ex your current location.
  • Why isn’t common sense the default at Facebook when it comes to users’ privacy rights.
  • BP handling of the oil spill is what I called fail whale, I mean if you kill a whale it is an automatic #failwhale.
  • Two guys walk into an Apple store to buy an iPad… This is not a joke, this is a tragedy, they walk empty handed because they are sold out
  • Happy Quit Facebook Day!!!
  • Flash, there is no app for that.
  • Can you imagine a 20 inch iPad? This shall come to pass.
  • The iPad is the iPC.
  • At Home Depot, just came from Office Depot. Are these stores like related? Can’t wait for Gansta Depot!
  • Disney wants to kill your creativity!
  • People used to clock-in to work, now they check-in.
  • Which is the most hated tech company, Apple, Google, Facebook, Abode???

Quote

  • I love the smell of napalm in the morning! – Lt. Col. Bill Kilgore
  • You never want a serious crisis to go to waste. – Rahm Emanuel
  • Billionaires rule supreme. – P. Sainath
  • We made the buttons on the screen look so good you’ll want to lick them. – Steve Jobs
  • I wish developing great products was as easy as writing a check. If that was the case, Microsoft would have great products. – Steve Jobs
  • Ahhh, what an awful dream. Ones and zeroes everywhere… and I thought I saw a two. – Bender
  • A documented bug is not a bug; it is a feature. – James P. MacLennan
  • The invisible hand of the market is actually a very visible bunch of grubby paws if you really look. – P. Sainath
  • Languages shape the way we think, or don’t. – Erik Naggum
  • Shawty is a eenie meenie mo lova – Sean Kingston
  • If at first you don’t succeed – call an airstrike. – Banksy
  • Lots and lots of blogs does not replace lots and lots of sales. – Larry Ellison
  • Baby there is a shark in the water. – VV Brown
  • The market is no longer driven by shareholders. The market is driven by formulas. – @mcuban