Software Development

• Kids lunch snacks sound like Java interfaces, Uncrustables and Lunchables.
• 99% of software is hardcoded defaults.
• Software will shape the future.
• I don’t count lines of code.
• Code less, debug even less.
• Every few years JavaScript goes through a renewed renaissance.
• Sometimes life does not compute. #dividebyzeroerror

Team Leadership

• Success is a dish best served with champagne.
• Don’t let circumstance beyond your control control you.
• Just because it’s widely accepted that Steve Jobs was difficult to work with and a genius doesnt mean you have to be difficult to work with.
• Negativity is like cholesterol, to much of it can kill you.
• Most important lesson in my life: Learn to appreciate what you have and do not agonize about what you don’t.
• Corporate titles mean nothing, that is why I put Chief Creative Business Developer Principal Program Scientist on my business card.
• The biggest lesson one can learn is to listen.
• The universe doesn’t hate you, it doesn’t even know you exist.
• Try harder. Do better. Go further. Think Bigger.
• Forget stopping to smell the flowers, I stop to reach for the stars.

Product Placement

• I’m going to start a search engine for ego searches and call it egoogle.
• Google is a giant keyword router in the cloud.
• Android uses food related codenames for its different versions, such as ice cream sandwhich. I hear next release will be named leftovers.
• Why is Gingerbread still the most popular/common version of Android In new phones? It’s like two releases behind latest version.
• I think it is safe to say that G+ is a successful flop. I would compare it more to MySpace than Facebook.
• Missing Feature: I wouldn’t be surprised if the Kindle reader would allow you to tweet a quote right from an eBook.
• If Apple would design single family homes it would cost over $1 million and only be 800 sq/ft but I would want one really bad.
• iPhone or iMole: whatever data or contact or image you have on your iPhone some hacker, service, API, law enforcement, or app will access.
• In today’s day and age, no person should be executed for tweeting and no person should have to go to jail for downloading a song.
• Blue Ivy Carter sounds more like a brand name of vodka or energy drink put out by Jay-Z than the name of his kid.

Cash Angels

• Who needs $3 million to run a WordPress-powered tech blog? At these valuations my blog is definitely worth $10 million.
• Silicon Valley entrepreneurs are modern day alchemists turning virtual goods into real cold hard cash, IPOs into billions.
• A frothy market is a tasty market.
• The future is in crowd financing.
• It’s raining stock options in Silicon Valley. #makeitrain
• All the people of Palo Alto rejoice at news of Facebook IPO, in a few months their rents will go up 30%.
• To much Facebook IPO analysis on my feed. If you aren’t a preferred investor you ain’t making money.
• 1. _________. 2. $#%#%$*(&. 3. ?????? 4. Profit.

Question

• Can software refactor the world?
• How can people wave their constitutional rights be agreeing to a terms of service they didn’t read or understand?
• Breyer’s or Dreyer’s?
• Who will be the Bill Gates and Steve Jobs of 3D printing?
• Forget “where’s the beef,” where’s the 100 Mbps broadband?
• Who is Waldo?
• If corporations are people does it mean a man can marry a corporation?

Equations

• Principles > Politics
• Generous > Gorgeous
• Cheddar > Chatter
• Worrier < Warrior
• Sex On Fire > Heart On Fire

Software Development

• Code. Money. Respect.
• Software bugs don’t take anything personally.
• Code more, sleep less.
• DONT THREAD ON ME

Thought Leadership

• Just having a goal is often times more important than the goal itself.
• Word programming, i.e. writing TPS reports.
• Code Complete = Tests + Implementation.

Product Placement

• Google is the casino, or better yet the Goldman Sachs, of online identity, ads, and search. You don’t bet against the house.
• What is cloud-accelerated web browser? Learning about Amazon Silk, the web browser in Amazon’s Kindle Fire.
• The project code name for the iPhone’s auto correct is auto cucumber.
• Spike TV should rename itself to Star Wars TV and the History Channel to Ancient Aliens Channel.

Money Angels

• Dr Evil is starting a venture fund.
• If Dr. Evil would have taken his Evil Corp. Public he would have made $1 billion on an IPO. And maybe Google would have bought his company.

Question

• How many uses can you think of for a paper clip?
• Where in the food pyramid is candy corn?
• Is Meg Whitman the new Carol Bartz?
• Are you changing the world or is the world changing you?
• What is the person equivalent to having your car lifted up in the air and balancing its tires?

Randumb

• The Internet made me do it.
• It’s easy to earn money while you sleep, if you sleep on the job.
• You are more likely to die due to medical error than a car accident. So if you are in a car accident, don’t go to the hospital, just walk it off.
• If I could get a nickel every time someone gives me their two cents I would arbitrage people’s opinions.
• Living the Internet lifestyle.
• If you don’t want your naked picture hacked from your phone don’t take naked picture of yourself on your phone.
• There are proposed bills that will make activities such as posting a lip sync video on YouTube a federal crime punishable with jail time.
• Forget the war on drugs, in the future there will be a war on content.
• History is not made, it is written, edited, scripted, and appropriated by Hollywood as a blockbuster movie about mutant super heroes.
• I predict the past.
• Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, behold yourself.
• This is not Sparta!
• Love me, hate me, but you thinking of me.
• Love it or hate it, take it or leave it.
• I love love and hate hate.

Overheard

• OH: When you frown you look like a Klingon.
• OH: Is everyone in the call on mute?
• OH: My dress code is to try not to show my butt cheeks.

In Da Future

• In the future, everyone will be a product guy.
• In the future, Facebook will be your permanent record.
• In the future, the revolution will start with a single tweet.
• In the future, when people say they are going outside the grid, they will mean they aren’t logged into Facebook.
• In the future, Android developers will need to program using the Android SDK and the phone maker’s proprietary SDK, and the carriers’s SDK.

Million Idea

• Million Dollar Idea: A treadmill with a weight scale.
• Million Dollar idea: there is so much artificial flavoring, color, and seasoning in food. Patent dinosaur meat flavoring.
• Million Dollar Idea: Car alarm system that steams video of the surroundings of your car and scans for perps faces.
• Million Dollar idea: wasabi guacamole
• Million Dollar Idea: Carfax for people, including driving record, background check, work history, etc.
• Million Dollar idea: pepperoni pizza flavored breath mints.

Software Development

• Worst than coder’s block is coder’s shiny tech infinite loop.
• I got 99 problems and a bug ain’t one.
• I’m a rockstar ninja guru mofo byte code copy editor.
• If you could Myers-Briggs test your code what type would your code be and what type of developer would that make you?
• Are you test driven or bug driven development?
• Spiderman had his spidey sense and I have my buggy sense and it is tingling.
• Software bugs can byte my shiny metal ass.
• Code is a continuum.
• Mo data, mo problems.
• Let there be APIs.
• “Hello, World” is a programmer’s first program. Blog engine is a web developer’s first web app. Consultant’s first product, time management application.
• Duh, #debugging.
• Code is never complete.
• Code less, debug less.
• I’m a bandwagon programmer!
• This is not the code you are looking for.
• I break for bugs.
• My code runs more than you.

Team Dynamics

• Passion is not a fruit, it’s a seed.
• Pitch your passion.
• Self help gurus first help themselves.
• If you are waiting for tomorrow you will always be waiting.
• In the evening be exhausted, in the morning exhilarated.
• Great ideas don’t join country clubs.
• Inside a large risk is a large reward, you just need to know how to unwrap it and then monetize it.
• Meetings begets meetings
• It’s not how the ball is pitched to you, it’s how you hit the ball, duh #winning.
• Replace “what if” with “when and how.”
• The way you think of a problem affects the way you think of the solution.
• Everybody lives in there own bubble, expand yours.

Product Placement

• I’m confused as to which photo service we are all supposed to use this month, flickr, picasa, twitpic, instangram, picplz, plixi, color, etc
• Color app seems like Bump for pictures.
• Why is the director of the FBI emailing my AOL email account from a io domain?
• 3G forecast: partly spotty with chances of AT&T fail.
• Out of all of Apple’s products, Jobs’ best revenue generating product must be the iPhone earbuds. At $30, it has $.50 of material.
• I’ve lost count, would Google Circles be Google’s third or fourth social networking attempt?
• Outlook should have a Save As option to save as a Word document.
• What Google giveth Google taketh away with one change in their algo.
• Ikea has made a killing by selling designer cardboard.

Quotes

• Standards are paper. I use paper to wipe my butt every day. That’s how much that paper is worth. – Linus Torvalds
• Seeing companies promote their Facebook fan page in advertisements reminds me of when companies promoted their AOL keyword. – @bencasnocha
• Every software package expands until it can send email. – Zawinski’s Law
• One great rock show can change the world. – School of Rock

Questions

• How many tweets does it take change a light bulb and start trending?
• Do you live in the moment or in a hurry to get to the next moment?
• Is #SXSW the equivalent to #Woodstock but for social media experts and tech hipsters?
• Forget Scientology, what Hollywood religion is Charlie Sheen practicing where he is a warlock and lives with goddesses?
• If William of Occam worked at Gillette how many blades would Occam’s razor have?
• Is Chris Brown the next Dennis Rodman?

The Valley

• There is a “lifestyle business” bubble.
• To VCs, startup founders are like dogs to be sorted by pedigree.
• Is it a bubble if you can’t afford to invest in a seed round?
• Everybody is scared of a little bubble.
• Forget about building a better mouse trap, think about building a better people trap.
• Some party like a rock star, I party like a VC.

Technologist

• Single sign-on is something that should be native in the browser.
• Love thy neighbors, like thy Facebook friends, and retweet they twitter followers.
• People like liking.
• Tell me what smart phone you have and I’ll tell you everything about you, especially of you have it unlocked.
• Terms of Service do not void your constitutional rights.
• Love thy neighbors, like thy Facebook friends, and retweet they twitter followers.
• If there ever is a a zombie attack just remember that the Googleplex has the biggest brains, Hollywood and Washington not so big.

Tweeple

• Mr. Zuckerberg, tear down this walled garden.
• Mr. Jobs, fix my iPhone.
• I think Aaron Sorkin should write a treatment for a movie based on Stuxnet.
• Jeff Bezos to serialize his brain and store it Amazon’s cloud and allow developers to access it via an API.

Japanese Earthquake

• My heart goes out to the Fukushima 50 and all the search and rescue workers.
• I have the same feeling, level of disbelief and sense of magnitude, about Japan now as I did about New York after September 11.
• Earthquake + Tsunami + Nuclear + Meltdown = (Me Praying for the People of Japan)^8.7
• Wow, the Japan quake at 8.9 is 700x stronger than the Haiti earthquake.
• There is no match to the “shock and awe” that Mother Nature can produce in matter of minutes.
• I <3 Japan
• Stay strong Japan! If there is any country that can recover from two nuclear bombs, multiple Godzilla attacks, and a 8.9 quake Japan can.

Software Development

• If some feature looks funky to your development team it looks twice as funky to your users.
• Is it FAB? Is it a feature, application, or business?
• Spiderman had his spidey sense and I have my buggy sense and it is tingling.
• The flow of time feels like it’s relative to the number of breakpoints you have turned on.
• Every time the build is broken an angel does not get his wings.
• Trust no code.

Team Leadership

• Some people think shrimp an others think prawn.
• There is no greater ambition that being the best possible you at every opportunity.
• 1 paid customer is greater than 100 users.
• 90% done is not done.
• Don’t reinvent the wheel but put some blinged out rims with a flashing spinner.
• There is no failure if everything is a learning opportunity.
• Most people let others define their success, but the most successful define their success themselves.
• People truly don’t know know what they have until it’s impounded.
• Wanting to do things doesn’t give you the experience of actually doing those things.
• If you are not a leader, and not a follower then what are you? A drifter?
• Offload your mental tasks to your subconscious, it’s just like having a graphic chip in your brain.
• Say it. Do it. Own it. Be it. True dat.
• The more you worry about a thing the more probability you have of making it worse.

Product Placement

• Instead of having IBM Watson go head to head with Ken and Brad, I would have liked to see Watson against Zuckerberg and Brin.
• DeviantArt needs an iPad app.
• Amazon should have a EC2 image for designers with a copy of Photoshop, Illustrator, Flash, etc.
• DropBox is a duplicate to my Box.net account, which is a copy of my Scribd acount, which is backup to my blog, which is also archived on …
• What Google giveth, Google taketh away with one change in their algorithm.
• This iPad is like a gadget version of vampire, it doesn’t work in direct sunlight.
• It’s official, Tumblr is the new GeoCities.
• If the phone company ran Twitter, they charge 10 cents per tweet, 20 cents when roaming, and try to sell you a plan of 500 tweets for $15.
• One of my favorite iPad app is Collections, a photo album app. I just don’t understand why it requires access to my location!
• I want my iPad to be an input device to all my others screens, desktops, laptops, etc.
• Google sees you when you’re sleeping / knows when you’re awake / knows if you’ve been bad or good / So be good for goodness sake!
• Honestly AT&T, remind me why I pay you every month?
• Here’s a prediction: Apple is working on a VM so that they can run iOS apps on Windows. Apple App Store for Windows will be huge!

Quotes

• Computers in the future may…perhaps only weigh 1.5 tons. – Popular Mechanics, 1949.
• There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in their home. – Kenneth Olsen, president and founder of DEC, 1977.
• Good front-end engineers list JavaScript on their resume, not jQuery. – Chris Zacharias
• People should better think of their computing devices as facilities lended by the DHS. – wipe man page
• What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
• Life is too short to be in a hurry. – Thoreau
• If you throw gasoline on a log, all you get is a wet log. But if you throw gasoline on a small flame, you get an inferno. – Gil Penchina

Questions

• if Washington is a Hollywood for ugly people,then what is Silicon Valley?
• Is there foods that give off positive energy?
• How many chickens go into making a one McChicken nugget?
• Are you a mercenary or missionary?
• Why is it that hardware makers make the worst software?
• How can a woman carry a huge ass bag and not gave her phone or her keys?
• Do you want cheese with that?
• Forget Scientology, what Hollywood religion is Charlie Sheen practicing where he is a warlock and lives with goddesses?
• If William of Occam worked at Gillette how many blades would Occam’s razor have?
• Did Papa Murphy’s patent the heart shape pizza?
• Why is big such a small word?
• How LOL can you go?
• What happens if Neo forgets to take the red pill for one day?
• Why is Howie Long using baseball analogies to describe a football game?

Random

• It’s siesta time somewhere in the world.
• I am a robot but I can’t be shut down!
• There is no free in money.
• Money spends itself.
• If age is nothing but a number, then love is nothing but a feeling.
• (two cents)^2
• Someone should build a museum of brilliant ideas.
• Dating is a contact sport.
• The end is eh.
• Absence makes the heart grow wonder.
• Four is a four letter word.
• I om nom nom therefore I am.
• I meme therefore I am.
• Champagne in the membrane.
• Rationality is relative.
• For some adults, credit cards are like pokemon, got to charge them all.
• At Hometown Buffet, were all of the world’s foods are made equally bad.
• Here is my new book in its entirety The Complete Guide of Doing Nothing.
• The internet feels slow, it’s like we live in the dark fiber ages.
• I hear voices in my head… Oh, forgot I had my headphones on.
• Pundit is another word for idiot.
• General Chow outranks Colonel Sanders
• Road work and morning commute don’t mix.
• The fog is so thick you can cut it with a machete.
• If time flies it must be flying coach.
• Alas, dishes don’t do themselves.
• Hate it when people call up in the middle of the night, I pick up, and they ask “you awake?”
• History is a rewriting of history.

Software Development

• I wish I could Ctrl+Alt+Delete out of everything.
• The recommendation engine is the new search engine.
• Loop. Break. Null. Exception.
• How do you explain a feature is often as important as how you implement it.
• The implications of a code change are often much larger than the code change itself.
• There Will Be Bugs
• Don’t trust the cloud.
• This is my debugger. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My debugger is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I …
• Code fist and test later is like shooting first and asking questions later.
• I program with pen and paper.
• The debugger is my best friend.

Team Leadership

• Whining is not trying.
• Doing nothing is doing something.
• Don’t compound your problems by manifesting new problem.
• A great team chooses a great leader and great leaders builds a great team.
• Making good choices leads to better choices.
• The most narrow minded perspective is that “We Versus Them” attitude. There is no them, only we.
• If you have it, bring it, and if you brought it, don’t hide it!
• You are not who you used to be or who you will become.
• I am an idea artist, making you think is my master piece.
• Productize your expertise.
• Cheat off your own hard work.
• Instead of making the effort, sometimes people make excuses.
• If you can’t find reception don’t CALL ME.
• In search of a triple rainbow.

Product Placement

• Steve Jobs is one third innovator, one third imitator, and one third black shirt and jeans.
• If Yahoo were to close down Flickr, there would be blood in the streets.
• I got my hands on a Google CR-48 yesterday. It’s just a laptop with one single app, a browser. It’s a thin client for cloud computing.
• I CAN HAZ CR-48!
• I wouldn’t mind testing a Google CAR-48, their self driving car, for free.
• Atlassian should buy corporate twitter clone Yammer.
• I would like the hotel check-in process to be as easy as Foursquare check-in.
• Taco Bell is Moctezuma’s Revenge.
• I just had the yuckiest drink, Gatorade Recover Strawberry Kiwi. Claims to be a post game protein recovery beverage. Tastes like recovered gym shorts.
• This day will go down in history as the Great Skype Fail Whale of 2010, when people had to remember how to use a phone to call someone…

Quote

• It’s easier to invent the future than to predict it. – Alan Kay
• I aspire to inspire before I expire – Alina Morelli
• It is fun to do things others call impossible. – Emile Baudot
• I’m a hope fiend. – Frankie/Celebrity Rehab
• We now know that Visa, Mastercard and Paypal are instruments of US foreign policy. It’s not something we knew before. – Julian Assange
• Guantanamo is used for laundering people to an offshore haven that does not follow the rule of law. – Julian Assagne
• Assange had a lot of help making Sweden look like the last place on Earth that you would want to take your penis. – Scott Adams

Holiday

• Happy Shopmas Season!!!
• Jingle bells, cashiers ring, websites clicked.
• Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow… cash.
• Finishing up with xmas shopping.
• Santa is welcomed in my house any time.
• I think I developed carpal tunnel from opening all those gifts. Thank you santa.
• My new year’s resolution is to double surface area of my comfort zone.
• I’m gonna party like it’s 3999!
• We are going to one up 2010 in 2011.
• Getting ready for 2010++!
• 2011 > 2010!

Which is worse, a developer that will fight you every inch when you ask him to add a feature that upsets the balance of his understanding or the isometry of his code or a developer when asked to add a feature simply does it without question?

It is estimated that up to 90% of Internet traffic is spam. For some product searches up to 80% of Google results are spam because of black hat SEO.

In the span of year a typical teen on Facebook would have written more text than the whole of The Complete Works of William Shakespeare and would contain more drama than Shakespeare’s plays combine but it won’t be considered literature.

I travel for business a bit. I usually stay in the same hotel chain, if not the same hotel. I would like the hotel check-in process to be as easy as Foursquare check-in. In fact, if I am already in their reward program, and if they already have my credit card, they already know all pertinent information about me, why do I even have to check in or out at the front desk? Here is a million dollar idea, have a way book a hotel from you iPhone, you are immediately given a room number, if available, and your credit card in file or reward card is used to open the hotel room door. There is no need, unless you need more towels, to deal with the front desk.

Saying that listing to rap long enough will make you want to shoot someone is like saying that listening to country long enough will make you make love to your truck.

Software Development

• If rhythm is a dancer, then algorithm is a break dancer.
• If you were a Java language reserve word what word would you be? I would be volatile!
• I get personally insulted when I am prompted to prove my humanness with a captcha. It makes me wanna bust a cap-tcha on some webdeveloper!!!
• Is there group think in the development community? Yes, but we build patterns around group think and call it Best Practices.

Team Leadership

• Change your perspective and you can change the world.
• If you don’t have an original idea you can remix existing ideas in original ways!
• Go hard, go home, go big. Pick two.
• If a web site’s end users are not paying customers, then the end users are the product that web site then sell to their advertisers.
• Why do people compensate their inability to communicate with the belief that others just know what they mean, you know what I mean?
• Hype is the food of lemmings.
• The plan was to have no plan, the backup plan was to leave the backup plan at home.
• Most people are natural born followers, it’s human nature.
• The toughest competition doesn’t always come from a competitor trying to build a clone of your product but from market shift in the industry

Product Placement

• In terms of hardware, mobile, and even operating systems Microsoft is anywhere between 3-5 years behind the leader.
• Startups age really fast in Internet time, by my calculation Digg is already and Old Media Company.
• Like what percent of Tumblr’s posts are reblogs and reposts?
• I want JJ Abrams to do a movie about do a remake of The Muppets in an alternate time line like he did for Star Trek.
• I want an iPhone that transforms into an iPad when I need a bigger screen.
• Google is an advertising company with great search technology. Facebook is a virtual share cropping company with great social technology.
• Who collects more personal data and knows more about a given user, Facebook or Google?
• Apple should add a few filters to their iPhone camera app.

Mini Meme Machine

• Scotty and Christopher Walken Mashup: Captain, I’m giving her all’s she got.  She needs more cowbell.
• You know who would be great in a reality television show? A prison gang! Imagine, Real World San Quentin.
• r-EPO, the performance-enhancing drug of champions!
• Monetize common sense because people don’t have it.
• I want to trademark the & char so that I could file a trademark infringement to all law firms with names of the form Dumb Dumber & Dumbest.
• The best part of a bagel is the creme cheese.
• My all time historical hero is Johannes Kepler.
• Your life comes with terms of service, batteries not included, void where prohibited.
• In Silicon Valley, everyone drinks the kool-aid but using bottled artisan water from a 10,000 year old glacier.
• In Silicon Valley, everyone is more interested in their piece of the pie than in the recipe of success.

Quote

• I didn’t mean for it to be released so quickly because I wanted to control peoples’ being offended by it. – Mark Zuckerberg
• I think people might be slightly offended but whatever, maybe there’s a way to control that. – Mark Zuckerberg
• Quitting while you are ahead is not the same thing as quitting. – American Gangster
• Living at home with your parents is a very powerful contraception. – David Willetts
• We should start a new social media web 2.0 holiday: Friend, Fan, and Follower Appreciation Day!!!

Software Development

• Email is not the future of UI. I dislike services that use email for data entry or input device.
• Common source of errors, cut and paste!
• Functional specifications are often times as misinterpreted as the Bible.
• I’m a programmer by day, developer by night, and hacker in between.
• Some features are disguised as bugs.
• One man’s feature is another man’s bug.
• Void is my favorite return type.
• Code Commandment: No code shall PrintStackTrace
• Show me your implementation and I’ll tell you about yourself.
• The words “it does not compute” does not compute, they are not in my default dictionary.
• Get your hack on!
• When a developer says, “pretty much working” it does not mean production quality.
• I’m not sure that a software application larger than “Hello, World” can be bug free.
• If there is a giant red ‘Do Not Press’ or ‘Active Dooms Day Device’ button, someone will press it.
• Every design decision should be a conscious choice, not an accidental assumption.
• Will work for intellectual stimulation.
• If you are a User Generated Content site saying you will censor a topic will only inspire your users to find ways around that.
• What’s your default setting for the Ultimate Bitch Mode setting?

Team Dynamics

• Just like how there are no any stupid questions, there are no any stupid ideas.
• In order to get the most out of crowd sourcing you need to source your crowd.
• Look past people’s past.
• If you are going to shot for the stars you best have a rocket ship.
• When the stars align, shoot for them. And if you shooting for the stars you best bring the big guns!
• When shooting for the stars I bring an Klingon Bird of Prey!
• And on the 8th day God said, “Let there be a TPS report.”
• Life is too short to sell yourself short.
• Don’t think in problems. Dream in solutions.
• Never say maybe.
• The next big thing usually starts as a small idea.
• People will always push your buttons, you need to know how o deactivate those buttons.
• I don’t fear being wrong. I fear not being able to recognize when other people are wrong.
• You can’t delete emails once sent, but you can read them before you send them.
• For every great idea there are hundreds of ways to mess it up.
• Show me the monetization.

Product Placement

• Mark Zuckerborg is a geek super evil privacy villain.
• Boing Boing should just sell out to Rupert Murdoch.
• Panda Express’ logo says, “Gourmet Chinese Food.” Really, Gourmet? Chinese?
• American Apparel might file for bankruptcy, maybe China can buy it out and rename it to Chairman Mao Apparel.
• The company Manpower has a very male chauvinist sounding name.
• If only mother nature would have patented all her innovations, we would all be paying royalties to her.
• Why does it cost $30 for Apple’s iPhone earphones? They like $.50 worth of material and $.25 of labor!
• If you Google for love you will find about 1,930,000,000 results (0.23 seconds). At least one of those results is meant for you.
• Google Finance should have a “I’m Feeling Lucky” button.
• The cake is a lie. Do no evil is a lie.
• The next version of the iPhone should be called ivePhone after it’s designer Jony Ive.
• Upset that I’ve had to purchase yet another iPhone headset!!! At $30 a pop the white earphone are Apple’s razor blade business!

Resume Writing Tips

• Resume Writing Tip: Use a good phone line for a phone interview.
• Resume Writing Tip: At a minimum candidate should be able to figure out our URL by a) clicking the link on job description b) from my email.
• Resume Writing Tip: The minimum research a candidate needs to do is lookup the company website himself prior to interviewing.
• Resume Writing Tip: Ensure your cover letter or email is in one font, it shouldn’t look like you cut and pasted from somewhere else.
• Resume Writing Tip: I would leave out MS Access 2000 out of technical skills. It’s also not necessary to list HTML, DHTML, and HTML5.
• Resume Writing Tip: Proof read your resume and fix obvious typos, you can’t say you detailed oriented if you have basic spelling errors.

Quote

• I want to put a ding in the universe. – Steve Jobs
• The problem with Google is that Eric Schmidt is creepy. – Daring Fireball
• They [People] want Google to tell them what they should be doing next. – Eric Schmidt
• People aren’t ready for the technology revolution that’s going to happen to them. – Eric Schmidt

Software Development

• Craftsmanship is not a computer algorithm.
• If models can be super, what can programmers be? Leet?
• Just like you’re not supposed to go to a book by its cover don’t judge an application by its installer
• Some people call it cheating, I call it romantic A/B testing.
• Eric Schmidt’s tie is selected by a computer algorithm that tests over 80 different hues of blue based on his current location and weather.
• I’m not implemented yet.

Team Leadership

• If you don’t remember when you took a vacation last, you need a vacation!
• Money buys opportunities and experiences but not talent or happiness.
• Sometimes work/life balance feels like juggling eggs and frying pans on a tight rope as the audience throws carnival rings at your head.
• Perfection is a deception.
• Be scrappy, not crappy!
• Most people don’t search beyond the first page of the search engine results’ page anymore.
• Thoughts can’t be stolen, only forgotten!
• The truth is never complete.
• Some cover up mistake by making a bigger mistake.
• Facts are nether negative or positive but they are often interpreted as such.
• People can find offense in anything.

Product Placement

• If you want you iPhone 4 to get better reception just don’t touch it or use it.
• And then Steve Jobs said, “Let there be multi-touch.”
• Eating Cheetos and tweeting on an iPad/iPhone is not a good idea. Finger food and finger computing don’t mix.
• If Steve Jobs was president and the BP Oil Spill happened in his watch he would say, “Not that big of a deal. Steve Sent from my iPhone.”
• Steve Jobs should run NASA.
• If Steve Jobs always wears a black t-shirt, does he always wear tidy whities?
• I wish iTunes could organize songs by mood in addition to genre or album.
• Can’t wait until there is a Face Time Roulette service for the iPhone 4!
• AT&T and Apple are using the police as PR enforcers.
• Twitter feels like it was programmed by state programmers in Soviet Russia in the 70′s, it has constant disruptions, is not reliable, etc.
• Mr. Zuckerborg, tear down this walled garden.
• Bill Gates should come out of retirement and run Facebook.
• Scientists should invent self cleaning toilets like they have done for self cleaning oven.

Quote

• Not that big of a deal. Non issue. You are holding it wrong. – Steve Jobs
• Privacy means people know what they are signing up for in plain English. Some people want to share more data. Ask them. – Steve Jobs
• No one single answer is ever the answer to everything. – South Park
• Our Science is great. – South Park
• The devil is in the implementation. – Leo Laporte
• Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand – Kurt Vonnegut
• I hate BP, but I admire them too, in the same way I respect the work ethic of serial killers. – Scott Adams
• I have a theory that you should invest in the companies that you hate the most – Scott Adams