Software Development

• Email is not the future of UI. I dislike services that use email for data entry or input device.
• Common source of errors, cut and paste!
• Functional specifications are often times as misinterpreted as the Bible.
• I’m a programmer by day, developer by night, and hacker in between.
• Some features are disguised as bugs.
• One man’s feature is another man’s bug.
• Void is my favorite return type.
• Code Commandment: No code shall PrintStackTrace
• Show me your implementation and I’ll tell you about yourself.
• The words “it does not compute” does not compute, they are not in my default dictionary.
• Get your hack on!
• When a developer says, “pretty much working” it does not mean production quality.
• I’m not sure that a software application larger than “Hello, World” can be bug free.
• If there is a giant red ‘Do Not Press’ or ‘Active Dooms Day Device’ button, someone will press it.
• Every design decision should be a conscious choice, not an accidental assumption.
• Will work for intellectual stimulation.
• If you are a User Generated Content site saying you will censor a topic will only inspire your users to find ways around that.
• What’s your default setting for the Ultimate Bitch Mode setting?

Team Dynamics

• Just like how there are no any stupid questions, there are no any stupid ideas.
• In order to get the most out of crowd sourcing you need to source your crowd.
• Look past people’s past.
• If you are going to shot for the stars you best have a rocket ship.
• When the stars align, shoot for them. And if you shooting for the stars you best bring the big guns!
• When shooting for the stars I bring an Klingon Bird of Prey!
• And on the 8th day God said, “Let there be a TPS report.”
• Life is too short to sell yourself short.
• Don’t think in problems. Dream in solutions.
• Never say maybe.
• The next big thing usually starts as a small idea.
• People will always push your buttons, you need to know how o deactivate those buttons.
• I don’t fear being wrong. I fear not being able to recognize when other people are wrong.
• You can’t delete emails once sent, but you can read them before you send them.
• For every great idea there are hundreds of ways to mess it up.
• Show me the monetization.

Product Placement

• Mark Zuckerborg is a geek super evil privacy villain.
• Boing Boing should just sell out to Rupert Murdoch.
• Panda Express’ logo says, “Gourmet Chinese Food.” Really, Gourmet? Chinese?
• American Apparel might file for bankruptcy, maybe China can buy it out and rename it to Chairman Mao Apparel.
• The company Manpower has a very male chauvinist sounding name.
• If only mother nature would have patented all her innovations, we would all be paying royalties to her.
• Why does it cost $30 for Apple’s iPhone earphones? They like $.50 worth of material and $.25 of labor!
• If you Google for love you will find about 1,930,000,000 results (0.23 seconds). At least one of those results is meant for you.
• Google Finance should have a “I’m Feeling Lucky” button.
• The cake is a lie. Do no evil is a lie.
• The next version of the iPhone should be called ivePhone after it’s designer Jony Ive.
• Upset that I’ve had to purchase yet another iPhone headset!!! At $30 a pop the white earphone are Apple’s razor blade business!

Resume Writing Tips

• Resume Writing Tip: Use a good phone line for a phone interview.
• Resume Writing Tip: At a minimum candidate should be able to figure out our URL by a) clicking the link on job description b) from my email.
• Resume Writing Tip: The minimum research a candidate needs to do is lookup the company website himself prior to interviewing.
• Resume Writing Tip: Ensure your cover letter or email is in one font, it shouldn’t look like you cut and pasted from somewhere else.
• Resume Writing Tip: I would leave out MS Access 2000 out of technical skills. It’s also not necessary to list HTML, DHTML, and HTML5.
• Resume Writing Tip: Proof read your resume and fix obvious typos, you can’t say you detailed oriented if you have basic spelling errors.

Quote

• I want to put a ding in the universe. – Steve Jobs
• The problem with Google is that Eric Schmidt is creepy. – Daring Fireball
• They [People] want Google to tell them what they should be doing next. – Eric Schmidt
• People aren’t ready for the technology revolution that’s going to happen to them. – Eric Schmidt

Software Development

• Craftsmanship is not a computer algorithm.
• If models can be super, what can programmers be? Leet?
• Just like you’re not supposed to go to a book by its cover don’t judge an application by its installer
• Some people call it cheating, I call it romantic A/B testing.
• Eric Schmidt’s tie is selected by a computer algorithm that tests over 80 different hues of blue based on his current location and weather.
• I’m not implemented yet.

Team Leadership

• If you don’t remember when you took a vacation last, you need a vacation!
• Money buys opportunities and experiences but not talent or happiness.
• Sometimes work/life balance feels like juggling eggs and frying pans on a tight rope as the audience throws carnival rings at your head.
• Perfection is a deception.
• Be scrappy, not crappy!
• Most people don’t search beyond the first page of the search engine results’ page anymore.
• Thoughts can’t be stolen, only forgotten!
• The truth is never complete.
• Some cover up mistake by making a bigger mistake.
• Facts are nether negative or positive but they are often interpreted as such.
• People can find offense in anything.

Product Placement

• If you want you iPhone 4 to get better reception just don’t touch it or use it.
• And then Steve Jobs said, “Let there be multi-touch.”
• Eating Cheetos and tweeting on an iPad/iPhone is not a good idea. Finger food and finger computing don’t mix.
• If Steve Jobs was president and the BP Oil Spill happened in his watch he would say, “Not that big of a deal. Steve Sent from my iPhone.”
• Steve Jobs should run NASA.
• If Steve Jobs always wears a black t-shirt, does he always wear tidy whities?
• I wish iTunes could organize songs by mood in addition to genre or album.
• Can’t wait until there is a Face Time Roulette service for the iPhone 4!
• AT&T and Apple are using the police as PR enforcers.
• Twitter feels like it was programmed by state programmers in Soviet Russia in the 70′s, it has constant disruptions, is not reliable, etc.
• Mr. Zuckerborg, tear down this walled garden.
• Bill Gates should come out of retirement and run Facebook.
• Scientists should invent self cleaning toilets like they have done for self cleaning oven.

Quote

• Not that big of a deal. Non issue. You are holding it wrong. – Steve Jobs
• Privacy means people know what they are signing up for in plain English. Some people want to share more data. Ask them. – Steve Jobs
• No one single answer is ever the answer to everything. – South Park
• Our Science is great. – South Park
• The devil is in the implementation. – Leo Laporte
• Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand – Kurt Vonnegut
• I hate BP, but I admire them too, in the same way I respect the work ethic of serial killers. – Scott Adams
• I have a theory that you should invest in the companies that you hate the most – Scott Adams