Programmer Pickup Lines

#ProgrammerPickupLines is a hashtag that will never trend on Twitter. Recently, some lonely nerds tired of playing with their debuggers on a Friday night tried to start a #ProgrammerPickupLines trend on Twitter. These are the type of pickup lines that only another programmer can enjoy, and since programmers came up with them, they are buggy and not what the client (women) want. Below are some of my favorite and perhaps the most desperate programmers pickup lines.

  • @InfinitiesLoop: // TODO: YOU #ProgrammerPickupLines :P
  • @csharphacker: hmm… I’d like to peek at your socket #ProgrammerPickupLines
  • @BenAlabaster: Will you treat me like an object? #ProgrammerPickupLines
  • @djg: I am immutable… but I’d change for you #ProgrammerPickupLines
  • @lfborjas: for a ruby you wanted, i’d kill a twisted set of pythons #ProgrammerPickupLines
  • @baugher: You’re more beautiful than a constant-time sorting algorithm. #ProgrammerPickupLines
  • @JoshLessard: You’re so hot, you make me prematurely exit my for-loops. #ProgrammerPickupLines
  • @BenAlabaster: If you like to Swing, my whole framework is at your IDisposable #ProgrammerPickupLines
  • @JoshLessard: Baby, this will be the best hex you’ve ever had. #ProgrammerPickupLines
  • @BenAlabaster: You had me at “Hello World!” #ProgrammerPickupLines
  • @JoshLessard: Baby, you’ve got the nicest critical section I’ve ever seen. Ditch these threads and let me in! #ProgrammerPickupLines
  • @BenAlabaster: Ooh baby, you’re causing my privates to raise events I didn’t know they had. #ProgrammerPickupLines
  • @JoshLessard: I’d like to put my Element in your Vector. #ProgrammerPickupLines
  • @rc_dickerson: Are your pants implemented using reflection? Because I can see myself in them. #ProgrammerPickupLines
  • @xandercoded: Could I #invoke your #function with my #parameters?! #ProgrammerPickupLines
  • @InfinitiesLoop: You implement me. #ProgrammerPickupLines
  • @_KYA: Come home with me and I’ll corrupt your heap. #ProgrammerPickupLines
  • @akroncdnr: Wanna come back to my place? Maybe issue a little mount or finger, you know, see what happens? #ProgrammerPickupLines
  • @SyntaxC4: Are you into Inversion of Control? #ProgrammerPickupLines

Another programmer oriented Twitter trend was Songs in Code, which actually made the Twitter trend hot list back in 2009.

6 Responses to “Programmer Pickup Lines”

  • gkmaestro Says:

    LOL … thoroughly enjoyed….. :)

  • BenAlabaster Says:

    I’d like to just clarify a couple of points, just in case any of your readers actually gets the impression that I am actually a lonely nerd with nothing better to do on Friday nights than sit home with my computer and make up nerdish trending topics to gain some level of celebrity with equally lonely fellow nerds.

    1). It wasn’t a Friday night, but a Friday afternoon – we’re not all in the same place in the world you know, just because it’s night time where you are, doesn’t mean it’s night time where we are… and before I hear you ask, the reason I wasn’t working is that my code was compiling.

    2). The hashtag started as a tongue-in-cheek joke between a couple of us and wasn’t meant as a burning desire to create a trending topic to be popular, it was a spontaneous comment with an off-the-cuff hashtag that seems to have spawned a life of its own. I threw out a few of the more immediately amusing ones just for shits and giggles and fully expected the hash tag to die out before my hour long commute home. To find out that this hash tag still seems to be circulating this Monday morning is somewhat confounding, though I will admit not entirely unamusing.

    3). Just because you’re lonely and sitting in front of your computer on Friday nights wishing you had a real girl to entertain you instead of that porn star you’re “friends” with through IRC, doesn’t mean that the rest of us are too. Hint: She doesn’t love you, she’s not a porn star, she’s not your friend and she’s lying about her age, oh, and she’s not even a she, sorry, there’s no Santa Claus either. I have a wife and 2 kids, and don’t have much opportunity (outside of the office) to spend in front of my computer and nor do most professional programmers, we have lives; in addition, very few of my real life friends are the nerdy type. You may not be familiar with the concept “real life friends”; this species can be found at the mall, evening classes, the bar, church if you’re into that. In fact you’d be surprised at all the places you can find them, under a rock – but not your rock because that’s where you’ve been hiding all these years; if they were there, you’d have found them by now… you’d know them from the matching phosphorous blue screen-tan you have.

    Side note: “I am immutable… but I’d change for you” is incorrectly attributed to @djg which he tweeted on Saturday morning at 04:11, I had already made this exact same tweet on Friday (same punctuation and everything) – some time prior to 17:35, alas my tweet timeline doesn’t go back far enough to tell the exact time. But the earliest RT I can see was 17:35 on Friday afternoon.

    Another side note: You missed my most amusing line “You make my stack overflow”.

    There was no offense taken by this post, but be aware that when perception fails to consider all the facts, it may be inaccurate. This comment was also written tongue in cheek, I hope you don’t take offense, it was meant in good humour.

  • Kirsty Says:

    For gods sake. Do you not recognise a joke? We were having a bit of fun on Friday.

  • TechKnow Says:

    @Kirsty – LOL, I do recognize the joke. I actually thought it was funny. Don’t you recognize my joke based on the programmer’s pickup lines joke? I know it, kind of meta so it takes a minute to register.

  • Christine Meranda Says:

    As a member of the female gender I can definitively say this is exactly what we want, bugs and all :) Thanks for reposting!!!

  • Cliff Says:

    I completely missed out on this trend. You guys need to invite me next time you start something geeky in twitter land.

Leave a Reply