The one place where I think they’d disagree is the ‘positional’ strategy of “If you want a 10% raise ask for 15%”. It’s more powerful to simply state a fair resolution, solid evidence to why that’s fair, and your priorities to guide compromise. (As you mentioned, ‘priorities’ isn’t only money: perhaps you’d accept further training, vacation days, or twice-yearly spot in the company’s box seats at Fenway as part of the raise.) When they try to negotiate positionally, insist the discussion center around what’s fair and what’s important to them. Perhaps money is tight now but will not be later: increased options, more-rapid vesting or a deferred bonus might meet both their needs (reduced immediate cost) and yours (increased overall compensation).

Fisher&Ury advise carefully considering both parties’ “Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement”. If you don’t get the raise, will you Quit? Start Job-Hunting? Drag ass at work? Stop wearing pants? And what are the consequences to the company if you can’t find a fair resolution? Less obviously, they explain when, whether and how to disclose your best-alternative — without coming across as making threats, and without disclosing weakness, but strategically making clear the outcome if negotiations fail.

Try to reasonably estimate your past and future marginal-value-above-salary: “I’ve delivered these two projects on time and within budget, bringing in $(100′s)k dollars for the firm; and I’m currently working on a project twice as big: It’s fair to return some of that value to me.” Look up salary comparables from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and/or Salary.com for a person with your experience and job title. These numbers can powerfully bolster the case that your offer is fair. (Also: the taboo against discussing salaries with your coworkers is foolish and groundless — find others willing to break it. You wouldn’t use that info in negotiation, but it will help nail down the company’s best-alternative.)

One final point — with the advice of an accountant, explore things like transportation reimbursement (yearly metro pass, company gas card, straight reimbursement for your travel from work to home) or a higher travel per-mile/per-diem. Anything legitimately classified as a ‘reimbursement’ comes through tax-free (no double-taxation), so $1400 of reimbursement from the company is effectively $2000 of salary to you.